Love for the Game-

Being injured and sitting on the side during workouts/practices has made me kinda reflective. Plus I threw in the park for 4 hours today and didn't go to any classes... I have been trying to figure out why I love this sport and keep playing it after 2 broken feet and much harassment from my mother and haven't really come to any real conclusions, but maybe (maybe!) I will by the end of this post...

Beginnings

I think my first game of Ultimate was in the summer of my 7th grade at Choir Camp in Sonoma County (Bishop's Ranch). For those of you who don't know about my middle school life, I went to an private Episcopal school called Cathedral School for Boys, which is attached to Grace Cathedral. We had a professional Men and Boys choir, which was pretty darn good (sang every thursday and sunday, weddings, funerals/memorials, special events, etc) and I was in it. Every 4th grader auditioned and about 4-7 kids were taken in each year...some kids stayed with it, some didn't, it was a pretty big commitment since it meant getting to school an hour earlier than everyone else, and staying to sing/practice until 8 every thursday after school. Every summer, the choir would have a weeklong retreat before school started up again and we'd learn music and chill at this sweet ranch in beautiful Sonoma wine country...Kinda like the training camp in Remember the Titans..............but not at all

..ANYWAY, back to Ultimate. So in summer before 7th grade, I think my brother was a counselor and he with the others decided it'd be fun to play Ultimate in a cow field. They were right. I had a blast, especially since I picked up the disc and could throw off both sides to begin with and ran circles around some of the other kids (keep in mind, I wasn't the most athletic of kids in middle school....but I seemed to be able to throw and catch better than any of the kids that day...so I was ecstatic). I thought to myself "huh, I'm pretty awesome, and this is the most fun I've had playing a sport...I should keep doin this." But somehow these thoughts got put on the back burner for a few years. In 7th grade I picked up tennis, spent much of my mom's money on lessons and my dad's time on the practice court and played Tennis through my 4 years in High School.

However, during high school, I never forgot how fun it was to play Ultimate, which is why I still had dreams of starting a real team at UHS. During my time in HS, I played intramural ultimate after school and when I didn't have Tennis practice, designed a school disc to basically sell for fun and designed a jersey my last year for the intramural team to play in (although we just scrimmaged ourselves after school anyway, so I felt dumb when we only had white jerseys). My senior year, I remember I almost organized a scrimmage against Redwood High School and Branson (both schools had actual teams that practiced, while we just played with no real organization). My brother, as well as my experience playing pick up in SF, taught me the basics of throwing and cutting and a simple vert stack offense, but I never really imposed any structure on our high school "team."

Family

Most of my early exposure to Ultimate came through my brother, Jesse, who is 5 years older than me and began playing for Chicago JUNK his freshman year. I always seem to have followed in his footsteps (same middle school, same choir, same high school, same Choral group in high school) and so it felt very natural for me to pick up Ultimate after he did. I was initially attracted to the sport because it seemed to be what my brother did other than study (to my knowledge) in college, so I "knew" that I wanted to play Ultimate when I got to college. This is a little saddening b/c I had dedicated countless hours on the tennis court since 7th grade and once I got to college, I kinda gave up on that sport....anyway...I began to read about ultimate and I think once my brother began to play, I started becoming a fan of the sport...which may explain my near fanaticism these days.

I decided to break up my post for those of you reading who wanted to take a break....sooo take a break HERE!

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Freshman

Once I began to play Ultimate in college, I think my main motivation/goal was to surpass my brother in playing skill. To be better than my brother at something was kinda a big deal, being a younger brother and all...but not the healthiest/best way to approach anything in life. (BTW I know i'm better at tennis than him, since he spent his high school days on the stage while I was on the court :P )

I guess during the early stages of my Ultimate life, I played because the idea of playing Ultimate and being part of the culture was in itself "cool" (my brother did it, so it must be), plus I wanted to be better than him at it. However, after Jesse stopped playing, there was no challenge of trying to be better than him. He had reordered his priorities and I was left trying to figure out what I was doing in this evolving/hippyish sport world?

During my freshman year at NYU, I played to have fun and get better as an individual player...and I accomplished those goals. Along the way, I made friends that I believe will last me a lifetime, but that wasn't really something I set out to do, just a plus. A few weeks before sectionals I broke my foot and from the sidelines experienced my first disappointment in my Ultimate career, losing sectionals. I didn't expect to feel so disappointed since I knew I wouldn't even be playing a single point and I began to realize I had made such a strong connection to this team that I felt horrible when we lost.

Sophomore

In retrospect, after I broke my foot and after sectionals, I began to appreciate the game of Ultimate from a fan's point of view and began to think of Ultimate as a great way to make friends. This is mainly because the summer before my sophomore year, I went to Regionals with the Femmes, led by Mia and co., and watched them make it to nationals...then I went to watch them at nationals and saw my first high caliber Ultimate. That experience was pretty cool in itself, but it was made even cooler by the fact that I became pretty good friends with Schulz/Finkel during that post season and I thought I met the girl of my dreams. And I guess I had Ultimate to thank for that. Thanks Ultimate.

So...yeah I spent that summer falling in love and being a gimp. By the time I could walk/run again I played Ultimate ASAP. During the academic year, I split my time mentally and literally among school/ultimate/my girlfriend... probably not weighted in that order and probably without school even in the picture b/c the year was pretty easy in that area. So my life was split between my girlfriend and Ultimate. It was weird because although I was a total Ultimate fanboy, I wanted to play Ultimate so that my gf would be proud of how good I was getting and how hard I was trying (because I know she understood how much time I loved the sport) and at the same time I wasn't ever having as much fun playing ultimate as I would be if I were spending time with her...When I was in school or playing Ultimate, I was usually thinking about my girlfriend, instead of really dedicating myself to those two things (not that I would really change this given the chance). It's funny because I used to think I was trying really hard at Ultimate back then in order to make her proud....but this year I know what it really means to push myself and try hard (our workouts makes last year look like a vacation)

Anyway, my sophomore year is a little bit of a blur. I spent most of my time thinking about my gf or spending as much of my free time with her. And Ultimate seemed to be a minute part of my life. By the time sectionals rolled around, I hadn't worked hard enough and I dont think I was in the best shape I could have been and we experienced yet another disappointing end to the season. I think I let the team down in my dedication to them, but at the same time...I was in love and stupid...In retrospect, I'd say I played Ultimate that year because of the people I met...and this carried through the summer when I played my first season of Club.

Club--Summer--> Present (Junior year)

I played with two teams during this past summer: PieMo and BAG. PieMo was just a fun team I played one beach tourney with and BAG was a more competitive team. A few days before flying down to a tourney with BAG, my girlfriend broke up with me on the phone and I was devastated for the next several months. However I began to dig deep during games and became a much more emotional player (for better or worse) and still am an emotional player today (Hence the nickname Rampage). During that club season, I began to use Ultimate as an outlet for my anger and negative energy (again, for better or worse). At the same time, I got to make some great friends in the Bay Area on my team. When I got back to NYC, I talked to Capt. Pete and he needed a handler or two for Crafty for Chowdafest, and so I thought "hey I have no gf to visit this weekend before school starts, why not!" and I promptly broke my other foot during an endzone drill. W00t!..there goes my outlet.

Honestly, after this injury I thought about quitting the sport (something my mom really wanted/wants?)...life sucked: my girlfriend dumped me, my mom didn't want me to play the sport, and apparently God didn't want me to play ultimate anymore, so he broke my foot, stupid deities.;)

.. but once the fall season came around, I decided I was going to dedicate myself even more to Ultimate and to Purple Haze. The friends I have on this team and the friends I have made through Ultimate are my family and I can't walk away from them (not that I could walk at the time)... :P

So I used helping and supporting Haze this fall as my outlet and i guess rededicated myself this year. Shouting from the sidelines helped relieve stress but at the same time made me more frustrated because I could be out there playing...Anyway, we did pretty well in the Fall, in my opinion and I was so happy to start playing with this team again when I could. Once I could train with the team and once we started our intense workout practices/Novagility stuff, I wanted to see how far I could push myself and the team. I want us to be successful. We've shown promise this Spring. Everyone is working hard and we have been pushing through the pain. I am inspired the look in the eyes of my teammates when I see them run up that 20th set of stairs (especially when i'm injured and have to shamefully watch them from the bottom or top of the stairs). That is where you see a real look of determination. Everyone is faster and I think most of the pressure relies now on our handler core stepping up their game (a pressure I'm scared of since in the past years, handling and dictating an offense has been the job of others)

I want us to win our Section, that's my goal right now. That's why I'm playing this sport. Friends and family have brought me back to this sport, and winning our section is my motivation to play this sport right now. I have to win for them and myself.

I dont just play because I'm good (back in choir camp) because I know so many peple are better than me, or I need to prove myself better than my brother, or impress my gf, or prove something to myself, but I play right now because I have a responsibility to...

Future thoughts-

I wonder if I'd rather play with a nationals team that I didn't have much fun with or a decent team that I had much more fun with. I used to think I wanted to be the best player in the world....but now I'm having my doubts.

Not a Conclusion-

I guess there isn't one reason I love this game because my motivation and goals change from time to time, but I do have to thank it. Thanks Ultimate. Thanks for being my outlet in hard times, thanks for not turning your back on me when I wanted to give you up. Dont let me down now. I'm looking forward to what more you can offer me. Love? Adventure? More friends?

~Quinton Qt-Rampage Ma